This year I’ve discovered something that has revolutionized my relationships with my children. I learned this tip from a mom with five grown boys who regrets she hadn’t taken her own advice. It’s a very simple idea but it has tremendous results.
The secret ingredient is “Special Time.”
I give each of my children their own day of the week. Mary’s day is Monday, Ben is Tuesday etc. On their special day they get to do something “special” with Mom. I picked a time that doesn’t disrupt the flow of the day, yet won’t be skipped over. We have our special time after lunch while everyone else cleans up. Mary likes to play Uno; Ben does too (pictured above); Hogen likes to play trains with me; Brie Ella and I bake together and on Fridays Jaime Lyn and I have tea and talk. (I don’t know what you do if you have 8 children and run out of days of the week!) One key to making it special for them is a treat bowl where they get to pick out a sweet to enjoy during our time together, and they only get one on their day.
Now there’s something you need to know about me; I HATE playing games, especially board games and I don’t like getting down on the floor and playing pretend. BUT having this sweet half hour with each of my children has changed that. I look forward to it each day and each day is different.
The reason I started “special time” was because my interactions with my sons had become only negative; “What were you thinking?!” “Is your room picked up yet?” “Why did you hit your sister?!” We weren’t enjoying one another and I could see our relationship played out into the future and it didn’t look pretty.
If you always struggle with finding time to play with your children because of all you have to do, I recommend carving out a special day of the week for each child. You won’t regret it.
Stay Faithful,
Kristi Knifong
Kristi is a home schooling mom of six, a kindred spirit and dear friend. To read her complete bio go to Leaving a Legacy’s Blog Contributors Page! You can also find Kristi Blogging at Faithful at Home.
Great post and a fantastic idea! My Dad would take each of his girls (there’s 5 of us) our on dates. He wasn’t nearly as consistent as Kristi because I can only remember a few times when he did this but I remember how special I felt. Keep it up.
Thanks for sharing Fawn! We do date nights with our kiddos too! It is a fav time for both the child and the “parent.”
Thank you for giving us a practical, do-able idea for building relationships! I love that you’ll play games with them though you are not a game person.
Around our house we call this “Mommy-Claire Time” or “Mommy-Jesse Time”. It’s not scheduled, but most often happens when the child asks for it. I wonder if scheduling it in would bless them even more, so they don’t have to get to that place of need…
Thanks Angie for hosting, and Kristi – thanks for the wonderful reminder. I NEED to try this, because I too feel l ike the grumpy Momma always frustrated with someone about something. Blessings friends!!!
I LOVE Kristi and her entire family – Angie too! I know the sacrifice this was for her to begin, but isn’t God amazing to make it a joy? I tried to do something special with the youngest ones before we started school each day. It seemed that when they got their love cups full, they were (usually!) content for me to school the olders. One of my best memories is date night with my youngest son, Justin. Daddy worked swing shift and all the older siblings were in orchestra Monday nights. We had candle light dinner and read poetry. No wonder he’s such a romantic.
Keep it up, Kristi, You are a blessing to all who know you. Aletha
Thanks for the encouragement and your loveing example Aletha… all of us “younger moms” glean so much from you! May God Bless you as you serve him!