When & Why did we start utilizing the Core Values Index Assessment???
Isaac and I first took the CVI three and a half years ago. At first it was primarily interesting to Isaac for use as an instrument within business, but after he took the assessment, of course he had me read through his output (description explaining his core values). In reading this output, we were both surprised how accurately it described innate values and characteristics of behavior. I had always purposefully tried to “study” my husband, reading The Five Love Languages, Created to Be His Helpmeet (which are fantastic books), taking other tests such Myers Briggs, and spiritual gift tests. My experience with those kinds of “personality tests” and education in psychology in University was that they didn’t measure anything innate and unchanging. The outcome of these tests would often change because our personality adapts as we experience life. While these books I read were highly insightful, and in some ways life changing in terms of relationships, they never seemed to fully capture the heart of my man. I felt like people like Him and myself were greatly misunderstood. I knew God had made us the way we were, unique (just like everyone) and put us together for a reason, for many reasons; but as my friends would read these books and identify with them, I felt like there had to be something more.
When we both went on to take the test we realized so much about one another we had never really knew before. Before I took the test, I and my husband, both thought I was going to be a “Builder” when I took the test. Then I took the test and found out I was not. Here are our Scores:
As we began studying the Core Values Index and training under the tutelage of the inventor Lynn Taylor. We were so strengthened in our faith in Christ. Knowing more about how God made each of us, differently, to complement one another, was revolutionary as we tried to really utilize one another’s giftings and core values to work together. Work together in raising our family as well as utilizing our gifts in starting our businesses. While I am fully dedicated to being at home and raising my children, I am also passionate about being the best helper to my husband. It is my first high calling. That being said, when my husband asks me to help him with something for work, I try to do it. Now, knowing what values me at my core, he is able to appreciate me by asking for my input in things he knows matter to me. Since learning more about the CVI and using it within our marriage and family, we are more purposefully engaging each person on an individual basis. Giving tasks and appreciation to each member of “The Tolpin Team” in ways that value them most.
I truly believe that as God has blessed us with the wisdom to effectively utilize this tool within our family, it has brought Him more Glory. We treat one another more appreciatively and give one another more grace, because of this deep understanding of how we truly are all created differently at our Core.
In Psalm 139:13-17 God says,
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” ESV
The New Jerusalem Bible translation is beautiful:
“You created my inmost self, Knitted me together in my mother’s womb. For so many marvels I thank you; a wonder am I.” Psalm 139:13
1 Cor. 12:27 speaks in regards to how God purposefully made us as one body in Christ. We are all members of the body, but we are all different, with different gifts, and different passions and purposes to fulfill one task. To work together as a Body, to bring Glory to our Father in heaven and to serve Him, to be His hands and feet in fulfilling the Great Commission.
God made us all unique. Therefore, it can be difficult to understand how other people process things sometimes. Conflicts in relationships and the lack of feeling valued and understood is at the core of so many families and marriages today. I believe that God desires true reconciliation, renewal in all our relationships. The CVI can assist in dealing with conflict and help people to truly understand one another better. It is just a tool, one God has allowed a man to develop, a tool that is changing marriages, relationships, and lives.
I would highly encourage any couple to take this test, read the full output of the test and to engage the reality of the results. If something seems “off” (which by the way hardly ever happens) or inaccurate, ask yourself why? I was personally freed from an oppressive spirit of thinking I was supposed to always lead. Being the oldest child, and having “type A”personality tendencies, I was often expected to lead, in all aspects of my life. When I found out my true score it revealed so much about me, I felt a freedom to be who God made me to be. When my personal score, as well as Isaac’s revealed we both had “Merchant” as our second quadrant, we were faced with many questions as to why we weren’t accessing it as frequently. We found that we were both “warped” in that quadrant. It has been a journey for us in trying to “heal” and utilize those aspects of ourselves that God designed in us, that we have for one reason or another adapted away from embracing.
By the term warped, I mean “adapted ourselves” and stopped acting and being truly who we are because of people, authorities (aka: teachers, coaches, parents, etc) over the course of our life. We all have had those experiences in our life were we have adapted who we are to be “socially acceptable”… and usually this occurs in childhood, because we are young and immature in our identity. Trying to find out who we really are. We live in a sinful world, we are sinful, our parents are sinful, our children are sinful, we all can potentially “warp” one another. But if we are allowing those people in our lives to be who God made them to be and celebrating who they are with them, we can help them to give their best contribution to this world. If we allow people not to be “just like us,” we will all work together as married couples more effectively, as families, as co-workers, as churches, and as friends.
The CVI has a unique ability to capture the whole of the person from a values stand point, much more than any test or assessment out there. It is greatly insightful and promotes healthier relationships when used with a pure heart and with wisdom. It has truly deepened our understanding of How God has made us uniquely with unique purposes in life. Life is so exciting and full when you are living with an eternal perspective and purpose that is so deep.
CVI &Relationships Spreecast
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