Reasons People Aren't Speaking Up About Same-Sex Marriage

There is a silence among some.

I’m sure you have thought at one point or another in the past week, “I haven’t seen many people from the Christian community writing about the same-sex marriage ruling.” I sure have. Even those one would expect to speak up on an issue like the Supreme Court ruling last week are simply silent?

Why?

1. Fear

2. Confusion

3. A Grieving Spirit

4. Love

Let’s Expose the Fear

This topic is hard to speak out on primarily because of fear of being misunderstood, getting harassed and receiving hate mail. All because there are a lot of judgmental people who, though they think they stand for unity and peace, really only believe that the only way there is by threatening others and arguing their agenda. The reality is that while they are shouting tolerance they are trying to intimidate those that oppose their agenda with hateful words for exercising freedom of speech or defending their beliefs.

There are some very judgmental Christians out there. It’s true. And to be honest, I have struggled with judging others as well. But regardless of Christianity or not, haven’t we all? We feel judged just because of how many children we have! People judge. Many people just aren’t honest about it. Yet, what is interesting is that while so many are calling Christians judgmental, isn’t that just what they are doing? Hmmm

Many want to exercise their freedom of speech and explain their beliefs, but as soon as someone with an opposing belief exercises their freedom to speak up, BAM, they defriend you and disgrace your name.

My Personal Struggle with Battling Fear

Maybe you can relate to me? I am not usually one of those to speak out on controversial issues. As many of you know I don’t like to stir or contribute to the division.

In fact my online Bible study, “Redeeming the Division: The Quiet Fight Between Women” was released just this past month and I am sure you can guess the topic of discussion?!

Unity, Acceptance, and Love.

My prayer and hope is that women who go through the course are challenged to set aside pride and critical attitudes over disputable matters in order to cultivate a culture of unity, acceptance, and love among the church and outside the church. Because we are all in sin and sometimes satan confuses women to disable the Church.

Since this past week’s events regarding the Supreme Court ruling, I have felt a personal conviction to speak out specifically to the difference between disputable and indisputable matters. My course is specifically focused on not allowing the open handed issues to cause division among us, but since this ruling there has been an uprising even among the Christian community.

There is a division occurring among friends and within God’s family. And I believe it is breaking the Father’s heart. God has created us for a beautiful purpose and we cannot even begin to fulfill that purpose when we are in such conflict. It disables us.

When we have talked with friends about whether or not I should speak out, most are remaining quiet for the same reason I didn’t want to write about it. Fear.

If you are struggling with fear, fear of man specifically, may I encourage you that fear is NOT from God. Just look up 2 Timothy 1:17 or any other verse on fear in the Bible. This is a time when those who are willing to stand firm on the Word of God alone and have been given a special insight and Word from the Lord, need to share it with others for the edification of the whole church.

We need leaders to rise up and cry out in truth and love in the midst of this generation. Yes, you will undoubtedly receive persecution, but isn’t this the way of the Cross?

“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.” Matthew 5:11

Many are confused today. They see many people speaking out in favor of the ruling and they don’t have the intention of arguing, just as I don’t, so they just don’t say anything at all. But because many leaders are not speaking out, the silence is confusing those who need leadership!

Silence can tempt others judge the Christian community as a people who don’t have conviction.

Social media has changed the world. We are no longer able to speak out as we feel convicted without persecution.

I can totally relate to those who are scared about what people will think of them. I am a recovering people pleaser for crying out loud. But, so many are silent! So many people that I would expect to speak up are saying NOTHING! Which is just adding to the confusion of the young in faith and those who are simply struggling to know what their response should be.

I didn’t want to approach this topic, but then it dawned on me. If I am training my kids to stand up for their beliefs, I need to model it for them as well.

On top of that, God convicted me that I was dodging in fear. And His Spirit reminded me of this verse in 2 Timothy 1:7, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

Then yesterday I was rockin’ out to these songs in the truck with the kids:

Bonfire:

Some of the lyrics are SO convicting about standing up for faith. I sat there listening to my kids screaming, I mean singing out these lyrics:

“My mama always said I was born for this. And some people wouldn’t like that I was different. It never really mattered how hard it would be. Cause she filled me with love and the strength to lead. I came to, light it up… If I was born to be a flame. Then I wanna light a bonfire.
This is the shout out, this is my voice.
Calling all the men, women, girls and boys. The dropouts, the losers, the hurt and the broke.
Time to reclaim what the darkness has stole.
Marching to the beat of a different drum. We live for the love without counting the cost. If you wanna be free then it’s time to go. Lift up your hands so the world will know.” Building 429

And then we pulled out a family favorite…

John Waller & As for Me and My House

Let’s Expose the Confusion

My personal belief is that many people are confused about how they should respond and even what they should believe because they either they don’t know what the Bible says about certain issues such as homosexual marriage, or their hearts are in conflict with what they know the Bible says.

The fact that there doesn’t seem to be a linking of arms among Christians on this issue, just like with abortion and other issues, confuses people.

Those who are speaking out are not all in alignment, which is confusing to those looking for leadership in how to respond.

There is a confusion among believers on what is an open handed or close handed issues.

We need to to understand that this confusion creates unecessary division among us.

We can find unity IF we are able to go back to the basics, the biblical foundational truths, and embrace one another, linking arms in agreement on the close handed, indisputable biblical truths. But the Church as a whole, needs leadership to stand up and to teach the basics.

There has been a clear division among people on the moral, political, and theological position towards homosexuality for a long time. Since the law was changed in America concerning the government’s idea of marriage, media has contributed to perpetuating a division among believers, but this division is because of a confusion and an argument between what is disputable and what is not.

This pot on sexuality and rights was already filled with it’s disagreements and arguments, but this ruling has stirred the pot and turned the burner on high.

So the question is what can bring unity?

The answer is coming to an agreement on what are disputable issues and what are foundational Biblical truths.

And this will only be found in having an unshakeable belief in the accuracy, sufficiency, and supremacy of the Bible as God’s final Word. This is the first indisputable truth.

The second indisputable issue Bible believers need to come to agreement on is the existence of sin.

Do you believe sin exists and that God judges it? And then do you believe you are a sinner?
And if you believe sin does exist, do you believe the Bible defines sexual sin?
Do you know what the Bible says about marriage? What Jesus says about marriage
When God created humans who did He design for one another?
Do you know and understand what the Bible says marriage was created for?
Do you believe that Jesus is God and that He came to earth, lived among us, and conquered sin, redeeming us when He died on the Cross and rose from the grave?
Do you believe that salvation is free for everyone, all sinners?

You see these questions are basic, but so foundational because the Word of God gives us clear direction in all areas of life. And He doesn’t contradict Himself. We read testimonies of mere men and women who make horrible mistakes sexually, in and out of marriage, and we see God faithfully loving them, but we also see God grieve their decisions.

John 1:1-3 says, “ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.”

Don’t forget the Gospel

We cannot forget the gospel. It is the gospel that changes us and the gospel that enables us.

As Christians, we cannot look to the world, the government, or any other human authority to influence our perspective of morality.

We have this saying in our home: Make sure you are listening to God’s word more than man’s words.

The confusion comes when the enemy deceives us with the ways of the world. Romans 12 warns us to be aware and alert, by being in the Word and allowing it to wash our mind, our perspective, our opinions so that we might not become deceived.

The word tells us he is crafty and cunning. That he prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour, “Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.” 1 Peter 5:8-9

The reality is that most of this tension comes from not being washed in the Word daily and experiencing His presence in a way that allows us to commune with our Savior, to hear His voice, to be lead by His Spirit.

Many are Not Speaking Out Because they are Grieving

I want to share something personal with you for a moment.

When I was born again in Christ, I began my own unique journey with the Lord. Just as you have. And on my journey with God, He has allowed me to grieve for many things. I have grieved for the broken and forgotten, the abused and the unsaved. God’s Word has compelled me to weep and grieve over the killing of babies and mistreatment of children. I am talking sick to my stomach, need to vomit kind of grieving. It feels personal as if those who are experiencing pain or loss are my own family because they are. It has compelled my soul to grieve the loss of friendship because of adultery, pornography, and divorce.

And though our stories are not the same, let me ask you, do you grieve?

Charles Spurgeon said it so eloquently. “There are some men of so hard a character, that to make another angry does not give them much pain; and indeed, there are many of us who are scarcely to be moved by the information that another is angry with us; but where is the heart so hard, that it is not moved when we know that we have caused others grief?—for grief is a sweet combination of anger and of love. It is anger, but all the gall is taken from it. Love sweetens the anger, and turns the edge of it, not against the person, but against the offense…When we see anger in another, we at once begin to feel hostility. Anger begets anger; but grief begets pity, and pity is next akin to love; and we love those whom we have caused to grieve.”

The mission behind the Online Bible study is to expose the lies we are believing and grow in our identity in Christ so that we can actually work as a team.

But the only reason I was able to write it was because I first grieved the division among God’s daughters, my sisters, in the Church. The Lord opened my eyes to see it. How I was hurt by it, how I contributed to it, and how so many women are held back in experiencing intimacy with God because of this division.

I hope you can see how the enemy uses division among God’s people to disable and distract the church from our mission and purpose here on earth, to make disciples of Jesus Christ.

Division distracts us from fulfilling the Great Commission. Don’t forget the point is the Gospel. Click2Tweet

I am not suggesting we all throw up our hands and yell surrender in the name of peace and unity. But I do want to remind all of us that our focus should always be to be ambassadors of Christ, to brand Jesus well, by showing love, grace, and doing so all while still speaking truth.

Many Are Not Speaking Up Because of Love

I truly believe that many are not speaking up because they don’t believe it is the most loving thing to discuss it, and possibly because they don’t even know how to discuss it in love.

But as my friend Heidi St. John puts it, Love Apart from Truth is Not Love.

We Have An Important Calling that is centered on Love.

Our greatest concern should be how followers of Christ are going to be diligent in fulfilling the greatest commandments and the great commission.

The Greatest Commandments

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Matt. 22:36-40

This is our calling. To love God and seek Him in His word and in prayer with our whole heart, soul, and mind first and when we do this, it enables us to love others despite their sins.

The Great Commission

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matt. 28:16-20

We do this, pursue making disciples because of our love for them.

This is our mission! It’s one reason WHY we are even here! What else is it all for? To live for ourselves? Surely not.

We should grieve the impact that this and other issues negatively impact our ability as the Body of Christ to function as a family and team.

A Personal Note of How I Plan & Want to Respond

I have received many emails from people asking, “Angie, how should we respond if we don’t want to create division? What do you believe about this issue?”

To answer that question, I sit with Jesus. I want with all my heart to be able to follow His example.

I want to be clear that here on my personal website I stand firm in teaching and supporting God’s design for marriage as it is stated in the Bible.

As a Bible believing Christ follower, my faith in the sufficiency of the Bible compels me to speak truth, the Gospel of Jesus Christ compels me to speak it in love, and I pray that is what you feel while you are here.

So let me make myself very clear. I do not in any way intend to focus on the issue at hand. It is just one issue of many. I do believe that God speaks to all sin equally when His Word says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,” Romans 3:23-24, ESV

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23

It is my awareness of my own sin and belief that we are all sinners, I am compelled by the gospel to love and compassion for others.

I am not personally shocked about this ruling. Why? Because we already legalized the killing of our unborn babies, which I am not in support of. And I believe scripture when it says it will get much worse before the second coming of our Lord.

Am I grieved? Of course, I am.

Do you think the Father is? Many think that this ruling is the price we pay for freedom, for people to choose. But this ruling is not giving freedom, it is attempting to redefine what God created when He designed marriage. And not only that, I believe that God is grieved because we are labeling yet another sin, legal and in our culture when something is labeled “legal” the masses believe it is moral.

It is confusing people into justifying sin. From what I know of God’s nature, which is limited because of my humanity, He is a God of love, compassion, mercy, forgiveness, but I also know Him as a God of justice who is jealous for the loyalty our hearts, minds, and souls.

And whenever we seek to fulfill our own desires rather than the Spirit’s God is jealous for us. All of us. Because he loves us.

I want to speak love through truth and freedom in Christ, just as Jesus did.

The account of Jesus showing mercy and salvation to the woman caught in adultery {John 7:53-8:12} is how I believe God does want us to begin loving people. Just as the Pharisees were about to condemn her Jesus called their bluff pointing out the fact that they were all sinners when he said, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw the stone at her… But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, … and Jesus was left alone with her.”

From this passage, it is clear that He revealed to those who were going to condemn her of sexual immorality, that they themselves were sinners and so they walked away. He did point out their sin, but gently by asking a question which convicted their souls.

But Jesus’ gentleness with a woman no one would go near is what is compelling in addition to His response to her afterward. He told her, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

He didn’t justify her sin and say, you are like everyone else so you are free. I am dying for you soon, so you can go on living your sexual desires out, even if it was for money. No, He commanded her to go and sin no more. He showed her love and then spoke freedom to her through truth.

Jesus teaches us that there are absolutes in life, such as the truth that sin exists. And that we all are sinners. Then He models for us how we should treat one another who have been living in sin.

As Christ followers, we cannot deny that there are absolutes in scripture. There are both disputable issues and foundational Biblical truths. But the indisputable, foundational biblical truths are the core of our faith because without belief in them we have no need for a Savior.

You know that saying, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything?”

The truth is hard. Faith in Christ and His holy Word isn’t popular. And if we call ourselves Christians we have to be willing to say we believe in certain biblical truths, such as the existence and wages of sin, Heaven, and Hell.

We can and need to find unity in foundational biblical truths so that we can link arms and be the team we are meant to be?

I believe that marriage, as created by God, was meant to be between a man and a woman only. For me, because my beliefs filter through the Word of God alone, I cannot justify ANY sexual sin as being morally right. Just as I cannot justify abortion. Regardless of what non-Christian Judges decide is law in the land. I answer to a higher authority.

Division can Create Unity

Have you ever thought about how your stronger deeper relationships, are usually with those to which you stand in alignment on deep convictions?

Division can actually create deeper community when you find those you can walk in alignment with. It is not something to run from. It’s something that can be used to grow each of us as we humbly discuss and challenge one another in respectful and loving conversation! Proverbs proclaims that iron sharpens iron. This aspect of friendship happens when we challenge one another.

The reality is that depth of relationship and transparency grows as you find commonalities. I believe that marriage is an issue that the family of God needs to come together on. Finding those Biblical truths and claiming them together, linked arms, forging onward to fulfill the Great Commission.

So although you see division, this is an opportunity for God to strengthen His people as well.

So I want to encourage you to speak truth apart from feelings or opinion. The Bible says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Jer. 17:9 That is why it is so important that we simply proclaim the truth in God’s Word alone.
Freedom of speech is like any right or privilege we have here in America. If we do not exercise our freedom or liberty of faith, it will be taken away. This has already censored a majority.

As my friend Heidi encouraged me last week, “not all are called to speak up on this, it does come at a price.” Know that you will not receive any judgement from me either way if you speak up or not. But I encourage you, to like all other things, pray about it and ask God to give you the courage to speak up if it is what He is calling you to do.

I pray and ask that you join me in praying for leaders in the Christian community and pastors to rise up and lead a generation that is teetering. And I pray that what they teach is founded on Scripture alone.

If you are unsure what the Bible says, here are some great posts I have found encouragement from this past week:

End Note:

You should know that writing this post was very difficult for me personally. I understand that many people do not agree with our perspective or our faith. But I felt compelled to write for the encouragement of other believers and my post is exercising freedom of religion on my own space here in the internet. I try to write with integrity to my personal convictions, in a way that is kind and hopefully brings glory to my Lord Jesus Christ.

If you are not a believer of the Bible and completely disagree with what I share, I would hope that you could show the grace to me that you expect from others.

Know that all disrespectful comments will be deleted.

Let’s show kindness and love in our comments to one another here please!

Reasons Why So Many Are Not Speaking Up About Same-Sex Marriage