THEHave you ever compared your “job” to your husbands? 

Have you ever thought, “If he only knew what I did all day today?”

Have you ever found yourself jealous of your husband because he gets to travel and get away? 

Have you ever been texted a photo of an amazing view from a hotel room, and thought, hmm 80 degree weather, palm trees, and beaches… it’s not fair… I wanna go?

Not all of us women have the same examples, but we have all been guilty of this one haven’t we?  


No matter how much you or I LOVE being a mom, and how much we LOVE being able to be at home, we still sin in this area. 

The enemy still finds a way to use our discontentment in a way that creates division between us and our husband, and ultimately, between us and God as well.

Let’s put ourselves in their shoes for a moment. 

Comparing is a trap. Once we get stuck in it, we are tempted into other sins of the heart. I have seen it first hand in myself.

When I am stuck in the midst of the comparison trap and I can’t seem to get out of it, I get emotional and my heart becomes untrustworthy. In a world that tells us to follow our heart, we need to remember the word warns us against trusting our hearts, because they too can be deceived.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?  “I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” Jeremiah 17:9-10

We need to guard our hearts against being deceived. But it’s SO hard sometimes. In the midst of a culture that encourages selfish thinking, and following ones heart, how can we fight against the natural urge to compare our situation, or circumstances with others?

By Growing in Christ.

I realized that one of the reasons I struggled so much to compare my role with my husband was because I was discontent with the jurisdiction and calling God had assigned me to.

Yuck. That feels really ugly to say out loud. I wasn’t content with the cup God had given me.

In light of the gospel story of Christ, remembering that He is our example of how we should seek to serve Christ, he Himself bore the cross for us all. When I reflect on the gospel, I am aware just how selfish and ungrateful I have been. The reality is that I do have a blessed life. How dare I, how dare I have discontentment for all the prosperity and blessings God has given me in my life.

Choosing Compassion Instead of Comparing

The ability to look at things through another person’s lens is humbling. It truly awakens our hearts towards compassion.

One thing I realized I was doing in the midst of comparing my role to my husband’s, was hoping and trying to make him see things through MY EYES.  But I never really tried to look through his either. He never threw that one back at me, but as I look back, I am ashamed to think how in moments when I thought I was so wise and insightful, I was really just self-focused and lacking the Spirit of God in my life.

So I began to ask myself this question: Is Isaac ever jealous of my role? Of the freedom I have to make my own schedule, and be with our children, those I love the most in this world?

Do you think that our husbands are ever jealous that we get to be the one that watches the baby walk for the first time, or that gets to study the word when we want to? I realized that even if I have worked in the same company as your husband, I don’t really know ALL he has to deal with.

I realized that I had some serious repenting to do.

It’s not even fair to try to compare our roles. 

In marriage, we need to take proactive action against our self focused and indulgent attitudes.  Not in a “holier than thou, kind of way, but out of our honest introspection into our hearts”… to see what attitudes should change so we can become better individuals and a better “team player” with our husbands.

Do you need prayer? I would love to pray for you! Feel free to email me at [email protected] or visit me on Facebook here:

Tolpin Family Fall 2011