Let’s think of this scenario for a moment:

You get together with a bunch a ladies and one starts it… the negative rag talk about her husband.  Another pitches in complaining, then another… pretty soon it’s your turn.

Do you chime in with similar pity party complaints? Or are you one of the few that don’t tend to focus on the negative things in your husband and find yourself in an awkward environment all of a sudden.  Thinking, I don’t really want to talk bad about my husband… but if I don’t say something they might think I have “perfect marriage.”

First off, No Marriage is Perfect.  However, I would like to offer a challenge to women to either re-evaluate the friendships they CHOOSE to spend quantities of time with or be the one who decides to LEAD the conversation towards more productive thinking.

You DO have a Choice… if you surround yourself with women who are purposefully trying to be loving to there husbands, your marriage will be indirectly effected.  Likewise, surrounding yourself with pity parties of complaining, nagging, negative wives will also  impact your marriage.

Over the years I have been in those situations where after all the women “take their turn” complaining… it came to me.  I have to tell you, I am not perfect I have fallen into this trap… ashamedely!  However, I made the choice years ago, not to engage in those kinds of conversations negatively talking about my husband.  Focusing on the negative is NOT productive.  In fact, it is counter productive because whenever you dwell on a problem, it makes the problem worse than it really is.

So women, as you gather together, to hang out, or for encouragement & fellowship.  Guard your marriages. Be aware that when you speak you are leading one another either into temptation to be dissatisfied or to be encouraged. Negative talk and husband bashing is not edifying.  Don’t take part in the “pity parties,” they are destructive to your marriage.

I would also like to encourage you to set your standards high for your friendships.  Be careful who you CHOOSE to spend time with.  We become like who we hang out with.  Be a Leader!

You may be thinking… but urgghhh… “my husband.”  Choose to look at the Good in Your Man and focus on being thankful for those things. Complaining will actually make it harder for you to forgive. It will feed your negative perspective and cloud your ability to be thankful.

The more you focus on the good, the more good you will find to be thankful for!

But most importantly, remember to be wise with whom you spend your time. Over time, even leaders can be negatively influenced. Be intentional with those friends who struggle. Be real. Speak truth in love, even when it’s hard. You want them to have a happy and thriving marriage, right?! They will thank you in the end.

Don’t sweat the small stuff, right!